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hat night,
I decided to delay my parents’ knowledge of my reprimand at school. It was bad
enough being isolated in detention all afternoon, but having to listen to my
parents’ lecture about responsibility was even worse. Blaine’s mom didn’t work,
so, during most of the week, I would eat dinner over at his house. After all, a
fifteen year old can only handle so many nights of pizza and coke. So, after
dropping off my backpack in the kitchen, I started down the sidewalk to
Blaine’s.
As I turned up into his driveway, I saw a
blue Pinto parked in front of Blaine’s house. Jared’s here. This should be
an interesting night.
Jared had been Blaine’s best friend since
elementary school when they both got busted for stopping up the sinks in the
boys’ bathroom during recess. What I had witnessed in the last two years of
hanging around Jared was that he was somewhat of a quiet type, except when he
was with Blaine. The two of them together was like unleashing the guys from Jackass
along with the guys from MythBusters into the suburbs of the Midwest.
Every task was turned into a theatrical affair, completed by a comedic injury
of some sorts. But when Jared and Blaine were separated, he was very reserved
and considerate of others. I knew this because we were partnered up for a
project last year in biology, and when Blaine didn’t stop by my house to
distract him, he took the project very seriously.
Bracing myself for an evening of bodily
function jokes and simultaneous drooling over Meagan Fox, I rang the doorbell.
Luckily, Blaine’s mom, Dianne, answered the door.
“Kara!” she chimed. “Your mom said you
would be here for dinner, but I was beginning to think you changed your mind.
Come on in, sweetie,” she said, stepping aside to let me pass.
The Lassers’ house was a split level, and
I only had to head down a few steps to get to the family room. Of course, I
didn’t have to ask where the guys were, I could hear them cheering at the game
on TV.
“Hey, guys,” I mumbled before plopping
onto the couch in the space between both guys. Blaine didn’t take his eyes off
the screen, but Jared made an effort to be hospitable. “Hey, Kara,” he replied.
He was still avoiding eye contact. A few weeks ago, I had gone to use the
bathroom at Blaine’s house, and Jared had forgotten to lock the door behind
him. I walked in on him for a brief second and, without going into detail,
things had been a little awkward between us since. Who could blame him? I was
surprised he was willing to sit in the same room with me at all.
“What’s the score?” I asked, not really
caring, while grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on the table. I had
never really been into sports, but Blaine liked to talk trash about other
teams, and I found it entertaining.
“Seven to three, Miami,” he growled, eyes
glued to the screen. Blaine hated the Heat with a passion, and with them
beating his favorite team, he was on the warpath.
I watched him tentatively as he glared in
the glow of the big screen. His jaw clenched in irrational hatred, the tendons
in his neck tensing and popping with each bad call from the ref. The way he
shouted through his teeth when his team was so close to getting a rebound.
Admiring Blaine any other day sent my heart into a fluttery mess, but when he
was angry, it stirred a desire in me that made my skin prickle with goose bumps
and my face flush. I had always felt a desire for Blaine, but could never
figure out a way to act on it. He was always changing his mood. Hot one minute,
cold the next. Sweet and caring one day, to flirtatious “buddy” the next. I
could never tell when it would be a good time to act on my feelings, so I
retreated to the easiest path of just being friends and not complicating
things.
Blaine and I are just friends. I would tell myself again and again. We
can be nothing more.
“DINNER!” I heard Dianne shout from the
kitchen. And that was all it took for the testosterone in the room to roam
onward. Man eat. Man eat food.
After dinner, I called my mom to let her
know that I was going to be at Blaine’s a little longer. My friend, Crystal,
was going to stop by and hang out with the three of us. It wasn’t uncommon for
large groups to spend late nights at Blaine’s house. His parents preferred to
have him and his friends at the house for odd hours of the night rather than
them being out cruising the main streets of town. I guess it was their subtle
way of making sure we weren’t drinking or doing drugs. It was fine with me.
Dianne was an amazing cook.
Crystal arrived just as the three of us
had decided what we were going to do when she got there. The guys thought it
would be hilarious to play “sardines.” A strange twist on “hide-and-seek” where
one person hides and everyone else is the “seeker.” When someone finds the
hiding person, they squeeze into the same hiding spot until the last person is
left looking for several people smashed into a tiny hiding place. I tried to
fight the decision when Crystal showed up and agreed it would be fun. I could
see she noticed that Jared was hoping to play and, based on her recently
developed crush, it may have swayed her decision.
We started out easy. Blaine would hide
because he knew what spaces in the house and yard were large enough to hold
everyone. I was the one to find him almost every single time and, I have to
admit, I spent most of the night hoping nobody would find us. This past spot
was exceptionally small, and we were pushed up against one another, face to
face. His breath smells SO good, I thought.
It really did. I was a little surprised
because when the rest of us were choking down Altoids before the game, he
declined the offer. But right now, we were practically touching noses. I turned
my head to the side a little, just so he didn’t feel smothered. In hindsight,
this wasn’t the best plan for someone trying so hard to stay “just friends”
with a guy. I could feel the heat of his breath on my ear, moving my hair at
the nape of my neck, back and forth, with every inhale and exhale. My heart was
all over the place, and it was so quiet in the tiny closet we were in, I was
sure he would hear it going wild. Trying my best to control my breathing, which
was about to speed up any moment, I thought it would be best to strike up a
conversation. “So,” I whispered near his ear, “who do you think will find us
first?”
He must have been holding his breath while
I was talking, because he blew out a heavy breath before his reply. “Um, huh.
Well, Jared, probably. Because Crystal doesn’t know my house very well,” he
breathed.
I started to giggle. “I can’t imagine
being able to get Jared in here with us. The room left in this closet could
hardly hold a small bird,” I breathed, trying as hard as I could not to laugh
loudly out of nerves.
I could tell Blaine was amused. He was
probably picturing Jared in the closet with us at that very moment (Jared was a
little…husky) because he started to laugh at an audible volume. I felt myself
panic. I didn’t want anyone to interrupt this intimate time between me and
Blaine. Without thinking, I clamped my hand over Blaine’s mouth. “Shhh…” I
breathed.
Watching his eyes go wide with delight, I
couldn’t help but notice how warm his lips were. And they were on my hand.
Imagining how soft and warm they would feel on my own lips. No. Drop your
hand, you idiot. Blaine is just your friend. I lowered my hand, slowly,
keeping it between us, my palm facing my chest. When I looked away, I felt his
hand clasp around mine. He brought the back of my hand to his lips and brushed
them lightly, side to side. Oh, my, GOD! What is he doing? With his other hand, he cupped the side of my
face, lacing his fingers through my hair. This doesn’t feel like a friend
thing to do, my mind was screaming. My heart raced four times faster now,
and my breathing was noticeably quick. There was no hiding the way his touch
was affecting me. I felt my face burn as he grazed his thumb across my cheek.
He didn’t have to pull me closer, the closet was small enough, but letting go
of my hand, he pressed his hand into the small of my back, applying enough
pressure for me to get the idea that he was attempting to pull me in. My skin
burned with desire over every inch that he touched me. And then his eyes locked
with mine. With a look of determination and intent burning inside the deep pools
of brown, he tipped my chin back just enough for our lips to meet. I was
frozen. I couldn’t move. I felt my knees get weak, like they might collapse,
but thankfully the closet was too small for my body to bend. If I was going to
fall, it would be into Blaine. I had never been kissed before, but secretly, I
had always hoped Blaine would be my first. As he pressed his lips into mine, my
mind went to another place.
I was in the woods, camping. At least,
that is how it appeared. I saw a tent off in the distance. Jared was there,
wading through the creek, gathering water in a canteen. Just as I began to
wonder why Jared was in my daydream, Blaine sneaked up behind me and wrapped
his arms around me. He was locking my hands around a crossbow, showing me how
to prep it for a shot. I turned my head to the left and saw some other people I
didn’t recognize pitching their tent in the distance. Two medium-sized black
dogs ran toward us from out of the creek as Jared followed suit. What the
hell?!
And then I was back in the closet, kissing
Blaine with a passion I didn’t know I had in me. We were pressed so tightly to
one another that I couldn’t tell where his body ended and mine began. It was
then that he broke the connection, pushing away, both of us panting like we had
just ran a mile.
He looked at me, almost in horror, and
screeched, “What the hell was that?!” Guess we aren’t whispering now.
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