Some Mistakes Are Worth Not Regretting
By
Kokab Rahman
Note:
The events and people in this story are
entirely fictional and any resemblance to actual people is entirely
coincidental.
Some
Mistakes Are Worth Not Regretting
Word
count = 1820
I
gave up everything for love: my home, my family, even money, in exchange
marrying a man belonging to a poor family, simply because I was in love with
him.
My
family gave me the ultimatum. Choose us or choose him. And I chose him, giving
up our large family home, my car, the money in my bank account which I had
gotten from my extremely rich but rather snobby father, which he took back.
I
still visited them. It’s not like they disowned me. They weren’t going to break
the ties of kinship and risk being barred from going to Heaven. They even said
I would get my share in inheritance. But other than that, I was treated as a
stranger. And my husband wasn’t welcome in their house.
And
so, here I was sitting in my one bedroom house, looking out at the snow falling
onto the yard which belonged to his extended family. The apartment was on the
third floor of his family’s house, and, although cozy, it was tiny compared to
the house I had grown up in, with scarce furnishing and peeling paint on the
walls. A traditional kerosene heater was lit in the corner to heat the room, in
place of an electric heater which caused high electricity bills.
I
glanced at my six-month daughter asleep in her cot and couldn’t help the worry
coming over me regarding my dire circumstances. What was going to become of us?
What would my daughter’s life be like? Would she go to a good school? Would she
get a college education? Would she even get good nourishment?
Money
was scarce in our home. My husband, Fareed, worked for his family’s business
and barely earned the equivalent of $200, while I worked a few hours a week at
an international company, earning a meagre salary. Expenses in this place were
high and on top of that, my husband was trying to improve his lot by taking
evening classes in a business school, which took a big toll on our income. It
was a three-year course that Fareed was nearly done with, having less than a
year to go. And then I hoped that we’d be able to save some money, that he’d
get a better job, etc. But those were just hopes. And hopes were something one
couldn’t rely on much.
I
had had big hopes while growing up. Particularly, from my family, but they let
me down big time. They knew what I was going through but it seemed more like
they wanted me to regret my decision and seeing sadness on my face was what
they were looking forward to, what ever made it happen.
And
I tried hardest to not let that happen. But it was hard to resist. Just as now,
I wanted to cry. What would become of our life in the next 5, 10 years? I
wanted more children, but could I afford having them? Already, the pregnancy
and delivery had kept me out of work for nearly six months, not to mention the
expenses that a baby brought, and that nearly destroyed my small family. After
all, when you have financial problems, you can’t be happy and that affects your
marriage, especially when you don’t have the support of others. There were
times when we’d argue over everything, simply because of the scarcity of money.
My husband’s family were even unhappy with the timing of the baby, saying that
I should have waited until my husband completed his education and our
circumstances were better, but Alhamdulillah (all praises be to God), Fareed
and I were grateful for this great gift of Allah (God) and did everything to
not let it affect us or our small child. Now looking at her, I was both happy
and sad. The questions kept striking me, making me wish I could do something to
make things different.
Just
then the phone rang. “Hello,” I said into the phone.
“Are
you crying?” it was my little sister, Joyce.
“Why
would I be crying,” I couldn’t help yelling.
“Dunno,
you just sounded sad.”
“In
your dreams.” I replied. “I’ve got the best hubby and child in the world. So
what you calling for?”
“Oh,”
she shrieked, “how could I forget?! I’m getting engaged!”
“Talk
about something to be excited about.” I knew who she was getting engaged to, as
our parents had talked about it often in the near past. It was their neighbour,
who was totally not my type, having a reputation of practically living in the
office and I didn’t think marriage with him would be any fun.
“Well,
at least he’s rich. There will be plenty of security in that marriage,
insha-Allah. Unlike yours.”
“I’m
secure,” I said back. “But will there be love and happiness and fun? Or just a
boring life? Why not just stay unmarried? You’ve got plenty of security living
with Mum and Dad.”
“I
knew I couldn’t talk to you,“ she replied. “I wonder if you’re starving
yourself. I can’t imagine how someone can enjoy life if they are starved?”
“Well
then I must not be. So when is it?” I said bringing back to the subject. Was I going
to be invited?
“Tonight!”
she shrieked.
Well,
I knew it. “Thanks for telling me. Good luck.” And I hung up the phone. I
wasn’t invited. You don’t call someone on the day of a party to invite them.
The phone rang again but I didn’t pick it up. Just then my mobile phone beeped,
letting me know there was a message. From Joyce, of course.
“It’s
at 7:30. You can come if you have something to wear.” It read.
Well,
I ignored it. I knew it wasn’t a sincere invitation. And I didn’t care what not
going proved to them. I wasn’t about to waste money on some dress I would only
wear one evening and regret buying, probably the rest of my life.
***
A
few week’s later, I was informed of the wedding. At least they had the courtesy
to invite me in advance. And I went to the wedding. I didn’t want to let my
younger sister down in case she wanted me there, and I didn’t want my family to
think I didn’t have money to buy clothes or anything. The dress I wore was my
sister-in-law’s that I borrowed and dry-cleaned. I still didn’t want to waste
more than my husband’s salary to buy a dress. The midnight blue ankle length
dress with silver sequins was new, having only been worn to a party once, so no
one would know, but was my sister psychic or what because she said the exact
thing. “That dress looks like you borrowed from someone.”
I
just shrugged. “Whatever,” I said. “If I cared what people said, I wouldn’t
have married Fareed when everyone was against it.”
“If
you had a brain, you wouldn’t have married him,” she said.
“Why?
Because he doesn’t have as much money as we did? He’s religious and
good-mannered, not to mention gorgeous. And it’s loads of fun being around him.
What more can I want?” We had had this conversation before and I knew it would
go nowhere with my sister.
She
just shook her head. “Some people never learn. When Sahr is growing up,” she
said, nodding at my daughter, “not being able to go to a proper school, not
being able to eat a proper dinner, you will realize your mistake.”
“Neither
her father nor I will let that happen, unlike our parents, who are willing to
do just that. What good is having so much money, if you can’t help a relative
in need?”
“Who?
You?” she asked, then walked away.
I
stared after her but ignored her behaviour, not letting it spoil my evening.
After two years of marriage, I was used to such brush-offs from my family.
The
wedding went well and the couple flew to the Bermuda Islands for their
honeymoon. Over the next few days I was informed that they were having the time
of their life, and I was happy for them. But I wondered if that was possible. My
brother-in-law, Asim, was the most boring man on the planet who spent more time
at work than anything else and I wondered what type of life he would give his
wife? Would he change now that he was married or would it be the same and he
would be home late, go to work early, and be too tired to pay any attention to
his wife?
And
it seemed, unfortunately, that that was exactly what was happening, just two
months after they were married. My sister was constantly calling me, asking me
for advice to spice up their marriage.
“Tell
me what to wear,” she said once. “I’ll even pay you for the advice. What ever
you ask.” Well she was desperate to be saying that.
“Umm,
wear something revealing. And a little makeup. Make it seem natural; but not
too much makeup. And don’t forget the perfume. It does wonders.” I replied. “or
you could go for the mysterious look and wear a black dress.” Black really
worked for me. I even had black furniture in the bedroom and the wall near the
bed was painted black to give it the mystical effect. “And I don’t want any
money.” I added. “What do I look like to you?”
Another
time she said, “He’s never home. Not even on the weekends. What should I do to
change this?”
“That’s
news to me. “ I said sarcastically. “Nothing you can do to change boring people,
except for not marrying them.”
“Give.
Me. Some. Proper. Advice.”
Soon
the couple were going to counselling, and less than a year after getting
married, they were separated. My sister was back in my parent’s house and
considering divorce, while parents were trying to solve her issues. It wasn’t
working.
“I
could give it another try,” Joyce said to me once.
“And
get more headache,” I replied. “Look, make your own decisions, but if I were
you I would end things when there’s still a chance. Not that I would’ve ever
married him in the first place.”
“What
do you mean?”
“Before
you have any children, stupid.”
Well,
that drove the message home, and a few days later Joyce was divorced. Her
divorce even changed my family’s attitude toward me. It seemed they finally
understood why I had made my decision to marry the man I loved and that it
wasn’t just to defy them. I got back the money that had been in my bank account
and things changed for the better. My parents started welcoming my husband
more. And soon after, Joyce remarried. This time to someone who came from a
middle-class family but who wasn’t boring or a workaholic. And someone Joyce
was in-love with.
And
so, alhamdolillah – thank God -, mine and Joyce’s problems were solved and our
futures looked bright. Joyce had a happy marriage and my financial troubles
were over. My daughter would have a good upbringing, in-sha-Allah (God-Willing).
The
End.
©
Kokab Rahman 2013
Other short stories by Kokab Rahman
(Available from Kindle):
Fighting
Temptation – Nedal is crazy about an office
colleague. But extra-marital relations are a grave sin in Islam. So when she
asks him out to the Christmas Party, he is in a moral dilemma. Though he knows
it’s wrong, he is so into her that he knows he cannot resist. What does he do?
Does he give in or does he succeed in overcoming his desires? Find out in
Fighting Temptation, available from Kindle.
Dreams
Do Come True – Sabrina has always dreamt of a happy
home with a husband and several children. But when she reaches her late 30s and
her dreams don’t seem to be coming true, she tries a no-strings-attached
marriage, thinking that being married a few years and having a couple of
children will give her what she wants. But when she falls head over heels in
love with her awesome husband, Dr. Shoqat, she knows she’s in big trouble.
Especially when Dr. Shoqat starts showing signs that he’s not happy with their
marriage. Will he leave her heart-broken?
Cyber
Lies – Farzana is deeply in-love with Amir, whom
she met in an online chatroom. But after a 6-month online relationship, she
receives an email containing bad news from someone claiming to be Amir’s
cousin. What’s going on? Is the news true or is someone playing a trick on
Farzana?
Internet
Matchmaking
- Saeid meets the woman of his dreams through a matrimonial service. But
when he actually goes to see her, he’s in for a surprise. Obese and suffering
from depression, Khulood is nothing like her pictures or online personality
profile. Not only that, but now Saeid is in a fix. If he breaks it off with
Khulood, the already-heartbroken woman might get harmed further. But can he
continue the charade and pretend to love her despite her condition? Or will he
take the risk and break it off with her? Find out in Internet Matchmaking.
Books
By Kokab Rahman
Accounting
for Beginners (Course book with workbook) – a
Simple and easy to follow beginner’s accounting course. Accounting/bookkeeping
procedures are explained and illustrated in a manner that makes it easy for the
complete beginner to learn. Workbook contains problem questions to make
learning the material easier. Workbook pages may be printed or manually copied.
This book is a must-have for small-business owners and self-employed
individuals. Learning bookkeeping procedures makes it easy to learn
computerized Accounting although accounting software must be learned separately
and this book doesn’t teach computerized accounting. Accounting For Beginners
is available from Kindle.
Arabic
Made Easy – the Arabic language is presented in a
simple and easy-to-learn manner, making difficult language material easy to
learn and less daunting. Published by AuthorHouse, Arabic Made Easy is
available in e-book, paperback, and hardcover formats.
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